markintosh: (Default)
Found very funny Tweeter to follow!
From Willy Ferrell (not sure if this actually him, but jokes are pretty funny:):

- My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

- Dear microwave, why is my plate so hot and my food so cold?

- Sharks aren't the bad guys. If some stranger entered my house in just a Speedo, I would probably attack him too.

- Elementary math problems are weird. "'I had 10 chocolate bars and ate 9. What do I have now?'" Oh, I don't know, DIABETES MAYBE."

- 1. Denial 2. Anger 3. Bargaining 4. Depression 5. Acceptance....... The 5 stages of buying gas.

- Dear Twix, Need a moment? Seriously...That's your slogan? Give me a break. Sincerely, Kit-Kat

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markintosh

January 2013

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